AUTHOR: TOMMY, Feb 28, 2023
A Throwback to Schlocky B-Movies of a By-Gone Era
Alright, so Cocaine Bear might not be everyone's cup of tea. Sure physics don’t really apply, nor the physiology of a “real bear”. But me? I'm a sucker for a good schlocky throwback flick. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. In fact the movie was one of my most anticipated of 2022 (before it got pushed).
Of course this was something of a ‘fun’ pick, but go back and listen to episode 52 - the tapes don’t lie!
If you bought a ticket to the movie Cocaine Bear, you kind of know exactly what you sign up for. Or at least just by the name alone, you really should. The flick is a throwback to schlocky B-movies of a by-gone era, and wears this fact with pride on its sleeve, packing all the classic B-movie tropes you could hope for. But here's the thing: unlike your average Howard the Duck, or Snakes on a Plane, or whatever, this movie actually manages to include some genuinely terrifying moments. That's right, I said it. This nonsense film about a coked-up grizzly is in fact the stuff of nightmares. And when it starts tearing apart, well, pretty much anyone in its path... let's just say I won't be going hiking for a while.
Based on Real-Life Events
The movie is based VERY loosely on the real-life story and infamous meme of an American black bear who ingested up to 75 pounds of cocaine in 1985, after a drug drop gone wrong. In reality the bear’s wild ride actually ended in near instant death. As, funnily enough, bears can’t actually handle 75 lbs of cocaine. They are not Charlie Sheen.
The movie therefore embellishes and begs the question: what if it had survived and gone on a drug-fueled frenzy through a forest, killing almost everything in its path while on the hunt for more coke?
Yeah, I know, it sounds like the dumbest movie ever. And let's be real, it kinda is. I mean, we're talking about a freaking bear that eats cocaine and then goes on a rampage. It's not exactly Rose Bud.
The Movie Wears its Schlockiness in its Sleeve
However contrary to the critical reception, for the most part I had a lot of fun with this movie - as silly as it all is, it just kinda works. Directed by Elizabeth Banks, you just have to meet it on its own insane terms. So buckle up, grab some popcorn, and get ready for the wildest bear-based drug-fueled adventure you've ever seen. Well, buckling up might not help if you’re in an ambulance…
Surprisingly well made. It's funny, it's violent, and it's just the right amount of nuts. If you're looking for a comically blood-soaked day in the park with a murderous bear on cocaine, well... you're in luck. This is the movie for you. The film doesn’t break any boundaries in terms of plot, character arcs or any of the things that are going to win it any Academy Awards.
But here's the thing: not every movie has to be either Awards fodder or part of a bigger, interconnected, multi-layered universe. We're not here for deep insights into the human condition either. Sometimes checking your brain at the door and embracing the ridiculousness is fun! We're here to watch a freaking bear ingest a bunch of blow and wreak havoc - and if you can do that with Cocaine Bear, you might just be in for a wild ride.
And frankly, I’m here for that. Cocaine Bear knows exactly what it is and revels in it.
It is definitely better than Aquaman (2018).
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